What if you discovered a way to change your husband and your marriage.
This isn’t a trick. You can change your husband and put your marriage on the road to aaaawesome.
The fastest way to change your husband is to change the way you think about him.
Thoughts are small, but they’re powerful.
Are you wondering, “Why am I always the one who has to change something to make our marriage better?”
It seems unfair, but you can only control you.
And the way you think about your husband is up to you.
Actions stem from thoughts.
Change your thoughts; change your actions.
It’s easy to criticize your husband. It’s easy to think about what he does wrong and complain about it.
But what if you tried focusing on what he does right? When you focus on what he does right, you’ll change the way you and treat him.
When you change the way you treat your husband, chances are he’ll change the way he responds to you.
Sounds simple, but it’s not easy.
It may not happen overnight, especially if you’re in the habit of thinking he’s the problem.
Negative thoughts about him will influence your behavior negatively towards him. Positive thoughts produce positive actions.
Negative thoughts haunted my marriage for years. I didn’t give my husband the benefit of the doubt. I thought he was 99 percent of the problem. I thought if he’d get with the program, we’d have an ideal marriage.
If he was late, I thought he was inconsiderate.
If he forgot something I asked him to do, I thought my needs and wants weren’t important to him. If he left a mess or didn’t take out the trash, I thought he didn’t appreciate me.
When I thought about him I felt irritated. Would you want to be around someone you constantly irritated? Naturally he wanted to avoid me.
The more he avoided me, the more I thought he didn’t care.
It was a nasty cycle.
My negative thoughts produced negative, disrespectful words.
Marriage is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you think negative thoughts, you’ll see negative behaviors.
Fortunately, the opposite is true, too. If you think positive thoughts and give benefit of the doubt, you’ll see positive behaviors.
Think of how much less conflict and drama you’d have in marriage is you chose to:
- Be slower to take offense
- Be slower to jump to conclusions
- Be quicker to give the benefit of the doubt
- Be slower to assume what he’s thinking
- Be slower to think he’s rejecting you
Change the way you think about your husband, change your marriage.
Here are 8 thoughts that can change your marriage:
- Instead of assuming the worst, give him the benefit of the doubt.
- Hear him out before taking offense.
- Make mental notes of what he does well and acknowledge it.
- Affirm him instead of criticize him.
- Speak to him using a respectful tone instead of sounding irritated.
- See his differences as necessary qualities you don’t have.
- Think of him as your equal, not your child.
- Assure him you’re proud of him and happy with who he is.
The way you think about him will change the way you treat him. It’ll also change the way he thinks about himself. When you treat him better, he’ll responds to you differently. He’ll feel better about himself when he thinks you’re happy with him.
If you’re treating him differently, he’ll change. He’ll want to make you happy.
Nothing will change your marriage quicker than your thoughts.
This is all quite true I believe. But when getting to the last part…what I’m just NOT happy with who he is? What if I know there are good traits and things to be proud of, but they are way overshadowed by all the stupid and illogical things he does all day long? What if his behavior is irrational and I do not respect those things? Ugh!
Jessica,
Respect is tricky. Many times we look at our man and think, “He doesn’t deserve my respect.” That may be true. Yet we are called to respect whether he deserves it or not. That’s hard. When it comes to respect, I suggest focusing on the kind of person you want to be instead of the person you perceive him to be. That will help no matter how he behaves.
What if you’re ex told you he wants to get back together With you and he moves back in with you and later you find out from his mother that she told him not to come back home to her house till he gets the covid-19 shot
But why do our thoughts change to a negative perception of him being a child in the first place? It’s obviously not how we perceive them before marriage.